Friday, May 15, 2009

Crazy for you Baby

Ah, I stupidly got talked into continuing Depo Provera. I should have put up a fight and made them talk to me more about hormone free options, but I had a crying baby with me, and my boobs were coating the examination room walls with glistening boob milk. (Paints a lovely picture, doesn't it?) They said this was the best option for now. It is progesterone, which is apparently safe for breastfeeding. Buuuut, and this a huge but, because you are expected to gain 10-15 pounds with this crap, (haha, lame pun), it has made me a crazzzzzy person. I out-cry my baby. I had terrible postpartum depression, and that never let up. I try so hard to keep my sense of humor, and blah blah blah, not jump into speeding traffic (I have a new profound knack for drama), but the depression seems to be winning. 
I really feel like the Depo shot is to blame. I really don't want to have to admit that I am actually crazy. One of the most common side effects is severe depression. Why oh why did I not research this? Oh ya, I always have a screaming baby with me. I can't even pee in peace anymore!  No PEEce in this house. (Ok, I am crazy. Disregard my rant on Depo). 
So, the hormones are flaring and screaming, and kicking, and biting. I want out of this, but I have to wait for THREE WHOLE MONTHS. I did finally get some research done, and found an awesome alternative. Stop having sex! Well, I'm not that crazy yet. I am going to ask for an IUD. It is hormone free, easy to install, and lasts for 10 years! I don't have to keep dragging my screaming baby to the gyno every three months anymore! I am soooo excited. Even though my doc tried to talk me out of it during my last visit, I am going to do it. She just likes seeing me suffer... I'm convinced (do remember, though, that I am crazy, and should not be taken seriously, and I truly believe that most current events in my life are a conspiracy right now).  Here's to hoping the depression retreats with its spiteful tail between its legs, and that rice cereal manufacturers aren't actually purposely making it sooo disgusting in order to get vengeance on all new moms for some deep-seated mommy issues from their past. 

2 comments:

  1. An IUD sounds like a great idea. The installation part makes me a little squeamish--but not nearly as bad as the idea of quarterly shots of hormones that make you sad and crazy. :(
    And it lasts 10 years!

    I really wish I was around to be more of a friend right now. I know you're not letting the depressions win, but still--I would like to be around so I could shoot flashers and entertain you and the Babe!

    booo distance!

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  2. Um, I swear it really does get easier, except the more sporadic hard bits - hmmm, you will not believe me, will you? I loved my my first between babies IUD, once you stop bleeding after the installation (sounds like painful performance art, right?) then you might be so lucky you never have a period so you never have PMS. It was AWESOME! Keep fighting the depression, that lovely baby is worth it, and no one really likes rice cereal, no one.

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