We no longer tip-toe around each other's feelings. This has been both liberating, and gasoline on the fire. It's great, though. It is forcing our relationship to grow and rearrange. Things were getting stagnant. Our relationship was on autopilot, out of our control, just going through the motions. Relationships go through these phases, ever-evolving. I think that if they don't, it won't make it. We are always changing, growing, learning, and the things don't keep up are left behind.
As parents we have changed drastically. So far we have done a good job adjusting to the circumstances, and rolling with the punches. But it gets difficult. Sometimes you direct your anger and frustration at each other, in lieu of a more productive outlet. I am definitely doing that right now. I am mad at Matt for EVERYTHING, but I can't explain why when he asks what is up. Believe me, I am fully aware, painfully aware of craziness!
I was just beginning to really resent him. He still has a social life, and takes time to do the things he wants to. His outlet is bike riding. He goes downhill biking or dirt jumping several times a week, and occasionally meets up with friends for beers. And it keeps him level and relaxed so that he can handle stress.
Then it dawned on me. Rather than resent him, learn from him. Take sometime out to do something I enjoy. Find my own outlets. Aife will be fine for a few hours hanging out with her old man. I am not letting her down or abandoning her by taking a pilates class a couple times a week.(Still grappling with this one). It will be better for us all, actually. Especially my giant booty!