Puppies vs. Babies

I know how easy it is to confuse puppies with babies, but STOP COMPARING HAVING A BABY TO HAVING A DOG!! Maybe it is some weird phenomenon just around this valley, but I can't tell you how many people try swapping stories with me about how "Oh, I know what you mean... when we first got our puppy, Ciara, she woke us up at 3 in the morning to let her out to pee. But, that was just the first night. Now she sleeps through the night, and we just have to let her out to pee when we wake up! Har har hee hee (at this point they stop laughing, because I have punched them out...).  Are these people aware that they are speaking out loud? They have become so accustomed to only interacting with their dogs, that they have lost their grip on reality. Now, I absolutely love dogs, but I know there is a distinct and overwhelming difference between them and human babies. 

If I got dinner invitations one night I can't just open the doggy door, plop some food and water down on the floor for my baby, and head on out. Doesn't work that way. By all means, tell me (a few, very few) stories about your dog, but pleeease don't compare it to my BABY. It is a shitty thing to do, and totally undermines parenting. Parenting is a constant job, with no breaks, and a little life is completely dependent upon you at all times. Dogs take care of themselves almost exclusively. They can survive out on their own, even. I know that in many circumstances, dogs fulfill that role of child to their owners. I get it. I just don't want to hear how you find raising puppies and babies to be the same thing. Tell your childless friends, not your sleep-deprived, haven't had a moment's peace friends with babies. Puppies and babies are both adorable, but not quite the same thing. That being said, here is Aife with her new favorite chew toy.

Don't Forget Your Pants

Everyday Aife and I go for walks. We walk to the river, or to the post office, the park, downtown, wherever. It's wonderful. The weather has been gorgeous, and the breeze keeps us cool. Buuuuut, today I get a phone call from my mom informing me of a flasher on the loose. He is lurking the streets of our small town and secluded bike trails, aka, where we walk. Apparently, this douche is jerking off in front of women, and then chases them if they run. The cops are too busy pulling over speeders, and making bank on traffic violations to do ANYTHING about it. It takes too much police work to track down the perp/perv, with relatively less monetary compensation for it.  Therefore, they aren't doing shit. They recommend you bring a cell phone with you is all. I know that with a cell phone you can snap a pic, and call for help, and perhaps lead to the capture of this guy, but in past experiences like this, cops did NOOOOTHING to help. In fact, I was blamed for it. They accused me of bringing it on myself, or some shit. I guess that is where my bitterness stems from. Anyway, I wish pervs like this would all just go live together on some crappy island, and flash one another ad nauseum to their hearts' perverted content. Then, we could reinstitute our daily walks. I am taking no chances with my little one, and we always wear our pants.